A TOAST TO MRS. HUDSON
by John McDonnell
based on "The Adventure of the Dying Detective" (1913)

As guests entered to find their places, Their names and titles were loudly intoned, Respect for each other beamed on faces. Hands applauded, though stomachs groaned. The spicy scents from steaming dishes Were almost overpowering. At last some hope for postponed wishes, The last guests entering were finally seen! "Who's Mrs. Hudson?" one guest grumbled, "This buxom landlady from Baker Street?" As some of the noble peerage mumbled, The duke bade all to sit down and eat. Amidst their cheer of celebration The stately duke stood up to say: "Dear guests, I sensed some consternation "At one who dines with us today. "Mrs. Hudson is now most famous "For housing London's very worst "Tenant. Her long-suffering would shame us. "At what she endures our tempers would burst. "Sherlock Holmes, the consulting detective, "Without Mrs. Hudson, where would he live? "But why should I now wax reflective? "His landlady the true account can give." "My famous lodger's most untidy. "Plays music at the oddest hours, "Fired bullets indoors just last Friday. "Yet I'm in awe of his thinking powers. "Since he's a chemist, I'm often treated "To some malodorous experiment. "Perhaps so that I won't feel cheated, "His payments make a princely rent. "Although he tries my patience often, "I have become quite fond of him. "His overbearing ways can soften "Toward womankind, though he dislikes them. "His famous 221 B dwelling "Attracts the worst and best of men. "What stories climb up stairs for telling, "Then clomp their way back down again! "But were it not for my dear tenant, I would not have been invited here. My family bears no noble pennant, But I love this company and cheer." The one who had begun the muttering Then stood, somewhat shamefaced, to say: "I'm guilty of malicious uttering. "Forgive me, Mrs. Hudson, I pray. "Your patience is a noble offering. "Perhaps this sounds absurd, but I'm "Thinking, but for your long-suffering, "Your tenant might have turned to crime!" As this set off considerable laughing, The duke had brandy poured out neat, Proposing a toast for general quaffing: "To Mrs. Hudson of Baker Street!"

Cartoon by Phil Cornell