THE PUPIL NO MATCH FOR THE MASTER
or, "It's a Nor-way to See a Narwhal; It's a Nor-Way to Go"
by Frank Coffman

You were young, Stanley Hopkins, and couldn't produce A culprit in Black Peter's case, So you sought Sherlock's aid to see if he'd deduce The true EVIDENTIARY trace. You knew you were beaten, and you did not tarry-- At detective work, Hopkins, you'd had no great luck-- To seek Sherlock's aid in the case of foul Carey Who was sure not the only one "stuck." You even arrested that Nelligan chap And jumped to conclusions quite soon. In spite of the clues, your mind took a nap, For he couldn't have heaved that harpoon. But Sherlock, as always, methodically moved: Sticking pigs (knowing that monograms Could be mere coincidence -- "PC" nothing proved) Found the force it required to pierce hams. And there was the clue Sherlock soon realized Proving Hopkins' quick answer most dumb: That a lad from the city would be tantalized By other spirits than rum. And also was that clue -- one overlooked gem -- As a lead to great Holmes it was clear That here was a definite "no pipe problem," So some other "PC" threw the spear That transfixed Peter Carey and pinned him to wall Like a butterfly in a collection. And it turned out a justice was done after all, And Holmes still was the king of detection. So the pupil "SH" by true "SH" was bested Though he led PATRICK CAIRNS through the doorway, Though he got all the credit for culprit arrested. . . . . . . Holmes and scribe watched some narwhals off Norway.